Cats and Dogs, Living Together

In one of her last posts, Tink described the various steps that twenty-something couples take on their way to becoming the married-with-kids, suburbia-dwelling, CBS-watching, soccer moms and dads that we think of as true "adult" couples. Let's recap these steps:

1) Meet the Parents

2) Move In Together

3) Get a Pet

4) Get Married

5) Have Kids

There are tons of little steps in between these (i.e. go on vacation together and both come back alive and in love), but from where I'm sitting, these are the BIG 5.

Well readers, I am finally joining Tink as a proud, card-carrying dweller of Step 2. Yes, that's right, the BF is moving in! Cohabitation - all the cool kids are doing it.

The cats and dogs living together title is actually very apt for this post. See, my boyfriend is very dog-like: attentive, loving, and active, yes, but also a little messy and prone to knocking over expensive tchotkes and losing his toys (i.e. his new Droid Incredible). I, on other hand, am very cat-like: neat, aloof, and as likely to be found sleeping as awake. Us cohabitating is not going to be boring, that's for sure!

I've been very lucky in my life to have some of the most amazing roommates that a girl could ever ask for. Sure we sometimes fought about dirty dishes, clothes-sharing, or forgetting to lock the door, but we always survived those fights and lived to watch another 6-hour marathon of One Tree Hill or The Challenge: Inferno 2.

I know that living with the boyfriend is going to have its challenges. He likes to watch CNN every night, while I go apeshit if I miss a second of the Bachelorette. He's a blanket thief. I never remember to fill the Brita. But I also know that like my other roommates and I did, me and the bf will get through the fights and live to have another night full of wine and snuggling...with him having all of the blankets, of course.

So, tell me readers: what were some unexpected challenges that you faced when cohabitating for the first time? What were some unexpected benefits?

Failure Notice

[An actual screenshot, from my actual email.]

We've probably all seen one of these pop up in our inbox before. A typo in an email address, or the address doesn't exist anymore, and you receive a friendly automated message.

Typically, the first words you see are MAILER DAEMON. First off, what is a "daemon," is that like a Demon named Damon? Some sort of hybrid? I don't appreciate the half-hearted spelling. And quite frankly, I don't get it.

Next, you see something like, "I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses."

I just don't appreciate that kind of transient sympathy. I'm in my late twenties for Christ's sake, don't you think I question my success enough...now I have a blinking, midday reminder that I'm a failure. It's really no way to get the creativity flowing.

The next line: "This is a permanent error; I've given up. "

Great, you've given up. That was the last viable contact I had at HARPO Headquarters, and now what am I supposed to tell my client..."I've given up!"?

It takes you through all the stages of grief in a matter of moments. Then the sassy, albeit well-mannered automated email, concludes with a, "Sorry it didn't work out." You're sorry?

It's tough to be a grown up. That--we've all come to understand pretty quickly. But I think what's more difficult is to keep on being a grown up. To make the conscious choice to keep getting slapped around by the turns of fate everyday, and going back for more. To not become the guy on the couch at your friend's house, or the person that moves back in with your parents, or the girl who decides to become a cocktail waitress instead of working the 9-5.

One of the breakout stars of this project has been one of my guy friends who serendipitously provides me random sound bites about being an adult, and he dropped another totally unsolicited pearl of cynicism on me today. He said, "It's just the way the world works. Sucks, huh? I never thought it would be this way when I was younger. No wonder there are so many cynical assholes in the world." (This came from the same person that told me as we grow up, people only get together for weddings and funerals.)

I can't say I disagree. But that's not to say, I wouldn't go back for seconds or thirds in the buffet of life. (Sorry, Golden Corral is on my mind after driving around Orlando this weekend.) I guess I'd rather be told I'm a failure, then never try in the first place. And although this may be a permanent error, I have not given up.

I would ask for comments, but clearly...our efforts are futile. So I'll just say thanks to all the random people that do occasionally read our blog. And for those that do give a shit enough to comment, you'll be the ones with the walk on roles when it becomes a movie. Because it will. Fuck yeah.

Automatic, Supersonic, Hypnotic

...Funky Fresh!

Okay, wow, that was a lame title. But admit it, that Ciara song is the jam. The topic of this blog post? Not so much the jam. Today we're talking about...billing options!

I've been thinking about this recently. Not only do i have TONS of bills (seriously, so many), but I feel like I also have a shit ton of options when it comes to how I want to receive and pay my bills. Do I go automatic debit? Paperless? Traditional? With Cheese? Without?

At the moment, I'm experimenting with my options. I get paperless (i.e. email) bills for my cell phone, one of my student loans, my cable, and my washer and dryer rental. I get traditional bills for my other student loan, my electricity, my furniture payment, and my credit cards. This sort of mix-n-match system is admittedly a little schizophrenic, but it's working for me so far. Maybe one day, I'll commit to an option...but I will not be pressured into it (do you hear me Bank of America? STOP ASKING ME IF I WANT TO GO PAPERLESS EVERY SINGLE TIME I CHECK MY BALANCE!!!).


I haven't yet ventured into automatic debit territory...I don't know why, but that stuff scares me. I guess I kind of feel like with automatic debit I'll either end up paying for something twice or not paying at all. I don't know...I just like to keep a paper/email trail of my payments (it's the lawyer in me.)

What do you guys do to manage your bills? Is automatic debit the best thing ever and I'm missing out? TELL ME!

Oh Mama.

Mother’s Day got me thinking about growing up, and being a mom in particular. I figure that at the age we’re at (late twenties) this is when people start thinking about that sort of thing. And it’s a strange moment, when you start to see actual biological clocks begin to tick among your friends.

The first holy shit period after you graduate college seems to be the “moving in together” phase. This is when college sweethearts make the plunge into cohabitation much to the resentment of many a single guy or girl friend. They hate it and break up or eventually get engaged.

Next tends to be the marriage segment. This is when all your friends start to get engaged and you start hearing things like “OMG, we are so old!..people are…like…starting to get married…” You stand in a few weddings; buy a few ugly bridesmaid dresses, and the initial shock fades into gradual acceptance.

So after about a year of marriage, the newlyweds (provided they haven’t already gotten divorced) begin to explore the idea of procreation. An outsider begins to see small things happen. Purchases reflect plans for the future: a house with 3 bedrooms, a car with safety features, an energy efficient washer and dryer. And then comes…the puppy.

Nothing says I’m dying to take care of something, but I’m just not ready to take another life into my own hands like a cuddly, snuggly little newborn canine.

Once you have successfully fostered a puppy into an adolescent (which takes what about 4 weeks?) raising an infant seems a little less scary. Cleaning feces becomes a little less repulsive. Babies in general seem much less frightening, and maybe even…cute?

(No I didn't pull this picture off cutestbabiesintheworld.com, this is an actual baby that I know. Thanks Josh and Amy for choosing to reproduce...well done!)

I’ve actually witnessed this entire process unfold a few times, and have actually begun to live it myself (although it looks like I will be taking the advanced course, skipping the marriage stuff and going straight to the puppy.) and it is heartwarming to say the least.

I know what you’re thinking…wow Tink this is really inspirational, it’s like nothing I’ve ever heard before—you really capture the essence of the human process here. I mean how did you become so objective, yet all encompassing…some perspective!

Sure it is simply an overtly simplified commentary on the incredibly obvious…but I feel that sometimes it helps to explain things when we take a look around and just observe. What the hell, Seinfeld ran for how many seasons, and that was their premise.

So we've talked about finances, and this was a total tangent, but somewhat relevant based on the holiday. What's next?

Rich Friend, Poor Friend*

It's Friday afternoon and you get a text from a friend asking if you want to go out to dinner at the cool new restaurant that just opened downtown. Totally awesome...except you've already been out to happy hour twice this week, had dinner at that overpriced sushi place on Monday, and booked a spa day with your college roommate. What do you do?

If you're me, you go out anyway and tell yourself that you're not being irresponsible, you're being social. Nobody can blame you for being social, right? Well, of course not. But don't expect your credit card company to cut you slack just because you're Miss Popularity.

Unless you're the richest person in your circle of friends, you've probably experienced an "OMG-am-I-too-poor-for-my-friends?" moment or two. Me? I've had my fair share of these moments. In college, my new girlfriends seemed to think nothing of eating out 2-3 times a week AND getting mimosa brunches on Sundays. I liked mimosas as much as the next girl, but I had a meal plan and my parents expected me to use it. Things haven't really changed much now that I'm out of school and an "adult." I still have tons of friends that can afford lavish girl's weekends and think nothing of having 3-martini dinners on the regular.

Now, of course my friends are awesome and never pressure me to spend money I don't have. The pressure is totally self-inflicted. But, come on - nobody wants to be the friend that misses out on the reunion trip to Vegas or can't afford to go to dinner. So, what do you do?

Some strategies:

(1) Take Charge! If you're the one planning the dinners or trips, you can pick the most affordable options. Instead of a trying out that expensive bistro, suggest a potluck dinner with a fun theme. Instead of that trip to the Caribbean, invite all of your old college friends to visit you in your new city.

(2) Man up! If you can't afford to do something, don't be ashamed. You work hard for your money and its up to you how you spend it. Tell your friends that you're sorry, but you just can't make happy hour this week. Then maybe invite them all over on Saturday to do something fun and free (i.e. lay out by the pool, catch up on Vampire Diaries, gossip about coworkers).

(3) Share! This one really only works for dinner, but it's a gem. In college, my best friend and I would of course never say no to weekly girl's dinner. But, we wanted to watch what we spent, so we decided to always SHARE dinner. It was genius. We never got overly fully (seriously, portion sizes are ridiculous), we saved money, and we got to enjoy time with our friends. Win-Win-Win.


Alright frugal friends out there...what are your strategies for dealing when you feel like your friends don't share your money woes?

*If you don't get the Rich Dad, Poor Dad pun in the title, than you clearly did not take AP Economics at St. Thomas Aquinas High School in Ft. Lauderdale. Lucky you. Seriously, LUCKY YOU. But also, Rich Dad, Poor Dad is really good and always inspires me to want to invest and spend my money wisely. I highly recommend it.