I originally put on my list of Adult To Do's, Attending or planning a funeral. In our twelve month experiment, I never thought that would come to fruition during month two.
Please excuse the somber tone of this blog, but if we've learned anything from the initial pursuit of adulthood, it is to expect the unexpected, and also that adulthood is definitely not all rainbows and gummy bears.
Part of growing up is saying goodbye to people. That is just the cold hard reality of the fact that we are mortal, and we don't live forever, but I don't think anyone ever quite knows just how to deal with it, when death arrives on your doorstep.
So yesterday, I spent the majority of the day at my friend's mother's funeral. She died after battling cancer, which is coincidentally the same disease that took my own dad's life almost a year and a half ago. The differences in their funerals were overwhelming, my dad's on a Sea Ray in the middle of the ocean, hers in a catholic church bursting with people. She was survived by her two sons, and her husband that stayed by her side right up until the very last moment. I clenched my teeth as I saw them carry her casket, but it didn't stop the tears from coming--from me or anyone in the crowd. I saw my boyfriend cry for the first time since I've known him. I'm crying now as I write this.
Funerals are a reminder that death is inevitable. For the religious, they take some comfort in knowing that he or she is in a better place, but does that really fill the void? Does it keep you warm at night?
For me the most comforting thing about yesterday was that our friends filled 4 of those long wooden pews from corner to corner. People drove in from out of town, flew in from across the country, just to be there. Just to show that they really, truly cared. After the days events were over, we went to our favorite shitty bar, and played our favorite shitty drinking games. A sign maybe, that life goes on, and despite tragedy, you can still smile. And then we ate shitty pizza.
As I walked out, hand in hand with my boyfriend, and along side another couple, my friend said, before getting in his car to head back out of town, "You know what they say...when you get older, you only get together for weddings and funerals."
I think that made me cry the most.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Cleaning Out My Closet
I must admit "getting organized" is not a topic that I was initially drawn to. Why? Well, as Tink mentioned, I already am organized. In fact, I'm kind of OCD about organization. I am physically incapable of going to sleep with dishes in the sink, I unpack the very second I get home from a trip, and we've already discussed my penchant for agendas and scheduling.
So, since I'm pretty comfortable with my organization skills and my status as a bona fide neatnik, I thought I'd have nothing to add to this week's discussion except for some useful tips on how to be better organized.* However, I soon realized that I was thinking about this topic on too superficial of a level. Being "organized" is not simply about a having a neat underwear drawer and an elaborate calendering system. It's so much more than that; it's also about prioritizing, having a plan, and generally choosing to de-clutter your life. And on these fronts, I can certainly use some work.
For example, right now I'm having a hard time with work-life balance. It's not that I'm working sooooo much, because I'm really not. It's just that I don't understand how I'm supposed to go to the gym, cook a healthy dinner, catch up with friends, call my boyfriend, check in with my mom, work on the blog, AND sleep all when I get home at 8:00 at night. Right now the gym, the healthy dinner, and the check-in with mom are suffering the most - this week I had PBJ for dinner 2 times and called my mom 0 times. I definitely need to get my shit together.
So, here's the plan. This weekend/next week I will:
(1) Write a menu for next week that has me eating at least 4 home-cooked meals.
(2) Call my mom 3 times on the way home from work.
(3) Try to go to the gym in the morning at least 2 times (I've heard that people who go to the gym in the morning are more likely to stick to their gym schedules and it makes sense - so many things can come up by the end of the day that can make the gym seem unimportant/too much of a burden).
(4) Call at least 3 friends that I haven't spoken to in a while.
This checklist is out in the world now, which means I'll be held accountable (like Tink with her clost pic!). Feel free to post your own checklists of things you'd like to do and I promise that me and Tink will check in on you and nag you til you complete it!
*In case you do want some organization tips, there are MANY blogs on the subject. Here's a cool one:
http://www.thatsneatorganizing.com/blog/
So, since I'm pretty comfortable with my organization skills and my status as a bona fide neatnik, I thought I'd have nothing to add to this week's discussion except for some useful tips on how to be better organized.* However, I soon realized that I was thinking about this topic on too superficial of a level. Being "organized" is not simply about a having a neat underwear drawer and an elaborate calendering system. It's so much more than that; it's also about prioritizing, having a plan, and generally choosing to de-clutter your life. And on these fronts, I can certainly use some work.
For example, right now I'm having a hard time with work-life balance. It's not that I'm working sooooo much, because I'm really not. It's just that I don't understand how I'm supposed to go to the gym, cook a healthy dinner, catch up with friends, call my boyfriend, check in with my mom, work on the blog, AND sleep all when I get home at 8:00 at night. Right now the gym, the healthy dinner, and the check-in with mom are suffering the most - this week I had PBJ for dinner 2 times and called my mom 0 times. I definitely need to get my shit together.
So, here's the plan. This weekend/next week I will:
(1) Write a menu for next week that has me eating at least 4 home-cooked meals.
(2) Call my mom 3 times on the way home from work.
(3) Try to go to the gym in the morning at least 2 times (I've heard that people who go to the gym in the morning are more likely to stick to their gym schedules and it makes sense - so many things can come up by the end of the day that can make the gym seem unimportant/too much of a burden).
(4) Call at least 3 friends that I haven't spoken to in a while.
This checklist is out in the world now, which means I'll be held accountable (like Tink with her clost pic!). Feel free to post your own checklists of things you'd like to do and I promise that me and Tink will check in on you and nag you til you complete it!
*In case you do want some organization tips, there are MANY blogs on the subject. Here's a cool one:
http://www.thatsneatorganizing.com/blog/
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tangent: Real World Edition
I haven't had the time to think about my "Getting Organized" post yet. Why? Well because work has been pretty crazy and also American Idol has started and also I am thinking of dyeing my hair a different color and OMG there is too much to think about!!
So by way of diversion I thought I would tell you this funny little story. Be warned, you will feel old at the end.
The scene: A bar in Atlanta. Think Senor Frogs - frozen drink machines lining the walls and fratty guys lining the halls...you got it?
So I meet a friend there, sidle up to the bar to order a "JET FUEL" (score one for good decisions!) and who do I see? COHUTTA.
If that name doesn't mean something to you, I'm sorry, but we cannot be friends. See, Cohutta is number 1 on my list of the Top 3 greatest guys to ever appear on The Real World. Number 2, of course, is Danny from New Orleans (*swoon*). Number 3 = one of Cohutta's castmates from Real World Sydney, ISAAC... WHO WAS ALSO AT THE BAR!!!
Seriously, Cohutta AND Isaac! I almost peed myself I was so excited. I don't really know why - I mean, I know more than one person who has been on RW/RR. And not in an "I feel like i know them way," either. But anyway, I was pumped. So 2 or 3 more JET FUELS in, I decided to go up and talk to Isaac (not Cohutta...I was too scared b/c he's my fave). Here is the gist:
Me: Hi Isaac!!! You're like one of my favorite people from the Real World EVER!
Isaac: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah! I love that you swam in the fish tank!
Isaac: Yeah...so, um how old are you?
Me: 26. You?
Isaac: 23
So there you have it. We are older than people on the Real World. I defnitely knew this before, in a vague way. But being face-to-face with someone from a show that I have watched since I was 12 and always thought the people on were so much older and finding out that, in fact, I AM THE OLD ONE, made it a terrible reality. BOO. Time to switch to PBS I guess.
So by way of diversion I thought I would tell you this funny little story. Be warned, you will feel old at the end.
The scene: A bar in Atlanta. Think Senor Frogs - frozen drink machines lining the walls and fratty guys lining the halls...you got it?
So I meet a friend there, sidle up to the bar to order a "JET FUEL" (score one for good decisions!) and who do I see? COHUTTA.
If that name doesn't mean something to you, I'm sorry, but we cannot be friends. See, Cohutta is number 1 on my list of the Top 3 greatest guys to ever appear on The Real World. Number 2, of course, is Danny from New Orleans (*swoon*). Number 3 = one of Cohutta's castmates from Real World Sydney, ISAAC... WHO WAS ALSO AT THE BAR!!!
Seriously, Cohutta AND Isaac! I almost peed myself I was so excited. I don't really know why - I mean, I know more than one person who has been on RW/RR. And not in an "I feel like i know them way," either. But anyway, I was pumped. So 2 or 3 more JET FUELS in, I decided to go up and talk to Isaac (not Cohutta...I was too scared b/c he's my fave). Here is the gist:
Me: Hi Isaac!!! You're like one of my favorite people from the Real World EVER!
Isaac: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah! I love that you swam in the fish tank!
Isaac: Yeah...so, um how old are you?
Me: 26. You?
Isaac: 23
So there you have it. We are older than people on the Real World. I defnitely knew this before, in a vague way. But being face-to-face with someone from a show that I have watched since I was 12 and always thought the people on were so much older and finding out that, in fact, I AM THE OLD ONE, made it a terrible reality. BOO. Time to switch to PBS I guess.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Airing My Dirty Laundry
In the spirit of getting organized, I am going to split this into a before and after series of posts. It wasn't until I suggested the "Getting Organized" topic that I realized I was the only one in need of some serious organization. Apparently most people are actually overly-organized to the point of obsessive behavior. Not I, senorita.
I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that I am the "Messy Friend." You know that friend who has a ton of clothes all over the floor, tank tops and boxer shorts spilling out of their drawers, and can never find two of the same matching shoes? That's me. I am a mess. If a friend wants to borrow a shirt, I'm more than happy to hand it over, but it will more than likely be plucked from the bottom of a pile of dirty laundry.
I am very hesitant to do this, but in an effort to give you a full understanding, I've decided to sacrifice my dignity...and post a picture of the current state of my closet.
Ohhh, the shame! Thought of changing my name! (Lion King, anyone?) So in the most basic way, I need major organization.
But there are a few not so basic ways that my life needs organization too. For instance, my live-in lover and I had a very organizational talk the other night. (My best friend referred to it as a "Come To Jesus" talk...Not sure what that meant, but I liked it). We basically stated the state of the union, where we are going, and what needs to be fixed along the way. After that, I felt that my relationship was "organized." Or better yet, reorganized.
There are many things in my new business that need organizing. I need to nail down the outlines of a business plan, find out who we are targeting, and what our 6 month strategy for growth will be. (Admittedly, I probably should've done this BEFORE I started.)
I guess more than anything organization is a state of mind (and OK a state of closet too). If you have a clear picture of what needs to get done, it is much easier to achieve it. So now that you have all seen a picture of what I need to do, I am off to tackle the closet monster. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, call the cops.
I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that I am the "Messy Friend." You know that friend who has a ton of clothes all over the floor, tank tops and boxer shorts spilling out of their drawers, and can never find two of the same matching shoes? That's me. I am a mess. If a friend wants to borrow a shirt, I'm more than happy to hand it over, but it will more than likely be plucked from the bottom of a pile of dirty laundry.
I am very hesitant to do this, but in an effort to give you a full understanding, I've decided to sacrifice my dignity...and post a picture of the current state of my closet.
Ohhh, the shame! Thought of changing my name! (Lion King, anyone?) So in the most basic way, I need major organization.
But there are a few not so basic ways that my life needs organization too. For instance, my live-in lover and I had a very organizational talk the other night. (My best friend referred to it as a "Come To Jesus" talk...Not sure what that meant, but I liked it). We basically stated the state of the union, where we are going, and what needs to be fixed along the way. After that, I felt that my relationship was "organized." Or better yet, reorganized.
There are many things in my new business that need organizing. I need to nail down the outlines of a business plan, find out who we are targeting, and what our 6 month strategy for growth will be. (Admittedly, I probably should've done this BEFORE I started.)
I guess more than anything organization is a state of mind (and OK a state of closet too). If you have a clear picture of what needs to get done, it is much easier to achieve it. So now that you have all seen a picture of what I need to do, I am off to tackle the closet monster. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, call the cops.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sneak Preview
Here are the topics that will be rounding out the SELF section.
This week: Getting Organized (Personally, Professionally)
Next Week: Opportunities
Week 3: Threats
Week 4: Habits
Week 5: Priorities
If you don't know where you're going...how can you ever get there?
Wow that was deep for a Monday morning.
This week: Getting Organized (Personally, Professionally)
Next Week: Opportunities
Week 3: Threats
Week 4: Habits
Week 5: Priorities
If you don't know where you're going...how can you ever get there?
Wow that was deep for a Monday morning.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Number 9!
It appears that counting is not one of my strong suits, for I left out number 9 in my list of peeves!* Fear not, I have something to add. And that something is….motorcycles!
Yes, all you Harley afficionados out there should be thankful that I am not President (or a Senator). Because if I was, your loud obnoxious bikes would be banned from roadways. ALL OF THEM. FOREVER. There is nothing scarier to me than when I'm driving along, singing (really well), and some horrible hog races by me, IN MY LANE, going way over the speed limit. I've literally almost driven into other lanes because of this.
So there it is. Motorcycles, I hate you.
*The word "peeves" is really starting to appeal to me. I'm in the market for a dog, and while I am generally partial to old-fashioned human names for pets (Walt, Harold, Clyde, Norman), I'm thinking "Peeves" could also be fun…espescially if the dog is annoying and is added to the list!
Yes, all you Harley afficionados out there should be thankful that I am not President (or a Senator). Because if I was, your loud obnoxious bikes would be banned from roadways. ALL OF THEM. FOREVER. There is nothing scarier to me than when I'm driving along, singing (really well), and some horrible hog races by me, IN MY LANE, going way over the speed limit. I've literally almost driven into other lanes because of this.
So there it is. Motorcycles, I hate you.
*The word "peeves" is really starting to appeal to me. I'm in the market for a dog, and while I am generally partial to old-fashioned human names for pets (Walt, Harold, Clyde, Norman), I'm thinking "Peeves" could also be fun…espescially if the dog is annoying and is added to the list!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Woman Peeved
Today (like most days), I am peeved about a number of things: I'm peeved that the new pumps I bought yesterday appear to have the annoying side effect of making my toes numb, I'm peeved that Jake kicked Gia off the Bachelor (Vienna, really? WTH dude), I'm peeved that the amazing chaise I ordered in December is still not in my living room, etc, etc.
As you can see, I'm a pretty peeved person in general (the sunny smile I wear is a ruse). That being said, I don't think that I have too many "pet peeves." Essentially what this means is that I have a lot of little peeves, but none that are big enough to qualify as pets. Among my little peeves:
1) People eating off of my plate. If we have not decided, pre-order, to share, then we are NOT sharing.
2) On tv, when people end phone calls by just hanging up. Have tv writers never heard of this little phrase called "goodbye?"
3) People who want to be my best friend on airplanes. Also included, overly talkative taxi drivers and nail/hair techs. I'm not your friend and I don't want to hear about how finding God changed your life or your latest fight with your mom. I'm reading/sleeping/staring into space here - you do the same.
4) People who always change plans. I WROTE OUR PLANS IN MY AGENDA, you jerk.
5) People who don’t respect lines. When I was in China, I learned how much I LOVE lines and orderliness. Respect the line, people.
6) People who are too high and mighty for reality television. Honestly, reality television is a wide and diverse genre that encapsulates both crap (A Shot at Love, Bad Girls Club, Dog Whisperer, anything with Rachel Ray) and geniosity (Amazing Race, SYTYCD, House Hunters, Project Runway on Bravo, Teen Mom). You can no more say that you hate all reality television than you can say that you hate all dramas.
7) Along the same lines (sort of) people who scoff at me for purchasing tabloids. Yeah, like I need YOUR judgment, Publix checkout guy.
8) People who are too cool to remember my name and that we have met 16 times before. I sat behind you in a class. We spoke numerous times. YOU ARE SO RUDE.
10) Girls who wear obnoxious headbands. You're not Blair Waldorf, get over it.
11) Talking politics at inappropriate times. Look, I worked for two senators and still harbor dreams of being a senator or a lobbyist one day myself. I love politics and government. Just not at a football tailgate. Keep your "Gators for Palin" pins at home.
12) Salespeople at stores. Please stop asking if you can help me or get me a dressing room. I'm fine, and you're crowding me.
13) When people don't change the toilet paper roll all the way (like they leave the new one on top of the used one). Is just changing it so hard?
14) People who went to/go to/like Syracuse. Eew. Also, your mascot is a fruit.
15) Girls who wear high heels to EVERYTHING. We're at a study session, ladies. Unless you have a date after this, take off the pumps.
Whew. So many peeves, so little time.
As you can see, I'm a pretty peeved person in general (the sunny smile I wear is a ruse). That being said, I don't think that I have too many "pet peeves." Essentially what this means is that I have a lot of little peeves, but none that are big enough to qualify as pets. Among my little peeves:
1) People eating off of my plate. If we have not decided, pre-order, to share, then we are NOT sharing.
2) On tv, when people end phone calls by just hanging up. Have tv writers never heard of this little phrase called "goodbye?"
3) People who want to be my best friend on airplanes. Also included, overly talkative taxi drivers and nail/hair techs. I'm not your friend and I don't want to hear about how finding God changed your life or your latest fight with your mom. I'm reading/sleeping/staring into space here - you do the same.
4) People who always change plans. I WROTE OUR PLANS IN MY AGENDA, you jerk.
5) People who don’t respect lines. When I was in China, I learned how much I LOVE lines and orderliness. Respect the line, people.
6) People who are too high and mighty for reality television. Honestly, reality television is a wide and diverse genre that encapsulates both crap (A Shot at Love, Bad Girls Club, Dog Whisperer, anything with Rachel Ray) and geniosity (Amazing Race, SYTYCD, House Hunters, Project Runway on Bravo, Teen Mom). You can no more say that you hate all reality television than you can say that you hate all dramas.
7) Along the same lines (sort of) people who scoff at me for purchasing tabloids. Yeah, like I need YOUR judgment, Publix checkout guy.
8) People who are too cool to remember my name and that we have met 16 times before. I sat behind you in a class. We spoke numerous times. YOU ARE SO RUDE.
10) Girls who wear obnoxious headbands. You're not Blair Waldorf, get over it.
11) Talking politics at inappropriate times. Look, I worked for two senators and still harbor dreams of being a senator or a lobbyist one day myself. I love politics and government. Just not at a football tailgate. Keep your "Gators for Palin" pins at home.
12) Salespeople at stores. Please stop asking if you can help me or get me a dressing room. I'm fine, and you're crowding me.
13) When people don't change the toilet paper roll all the way (like they leave the new one on top of the used one). Is just changing it so hard?
14) People who went to/go to/like Syracuse. Eew. Also, your mascot is a fruit.
15) Girls who wear high heels to EVERYTHING. We're at a study session, ladies. Unless you have a date after this, take off the pumps.
Whew. So many peeves, so little time.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day
I'm very busy munching on Sweethearts (yes, those chalk-like candies that you used to give out with your Gem valentine's cards back in 2nd grade- LOVE EM), but I thought I'd take the time to post some fun links for you all on this most commercial and cliche of holidays:
For those of you that hate valentine's day but love dolphins: click
For everyone that loves Pauly D (me, me, me!): tap
For those of you that SERIOUSLY hate this holiday and need a big pick-me-up, do not hesitate for even an instant: go
For those of you still in need of a gift: hit
For those of you staying in tonight, romantic movie that both sexes approve of: here
...and romantic dishes to serve: here
Enjoy!
For those of you that hate valentine's day but love dolphins: click
For everyone that loves Pauly D (me, me, me!): tap
For those of you that SERIOUSLY hate this holiday and need a big pick-me-up, do not hesitate for even an instant: go
For those of you still in need of a gift: hit
For those of you staying in tonight, romantic movie that both sexes approve of: here
...and romantic dishes to serve: here
Enjoy!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Raisin Hell
Greetings Never Never Land! It’s me, Rufio. Feel free to chant that if you’d like. (I do.)
In true first-entry fashion, I suppose I should disclose a little bit about myself to give you a basis for judgment. But, I’ll make it short and sweet because it’s Pet Peeve week, and talking about myself isn’t nearly as fun as broadcasting a complaint.
Where to begin, where to begin…
A/S/L. Despite the masculine name and profile picture of a tweenaged boy, I am in fact, a chick. Referring to myself as a “lady” or “woman” doesn’t sit well with me quite yet. Maybe it will when if I grow up. A child of twenty-five, I currently reside in Washington, D.C. and cruise in the slow lane on the road to adulthood. I’m an exhibitionist by trade (exhibition coordinator by title) for a company where people take me seriously, I think.
My maturity level has significantly digressed over the passed year, due to the fact that I’ve become a boomerang, of sorts… moving back home with my parents (“temporarily”)… playing with old childhood friends on the weekends… rekindling an old flame with an Ex from five years ago. (Note: It’s long distance, meaning every night I get to lock myself in my room at my parents’ house and talk to him on the phone. Jealous?) Basically, I’ve been living in my own slightly modified version of Never Never Land.
In all honesty though, I’ve got it all together… just not quite figured out.
Speaking of irritating situations… it’s Pet Peeve time! (Weak segue, I know.)
The winner of the coveted title as my biggest pet peeve is… Ordering something off of a menu that comes out COVERED in an ingredient that was NOT listed in the description. Sounds stupid, but hear me out…
Most people have an ingredient that they’re not particularly fond of. For me, that ingredient is the raisin. I loathe raisins, and handle my detest for them much like I handle my detest for everything else. Avoidance. A simple tactic made difficult thanks to raisin-censored menus. Instead, I get sucker-punched when my “Yogurt and House Made Granola” arrives drowning in a sea of raisins, and ruins my appetite.
The worst part, is that there’s simply NO effective way to remove raisins from a dish once they’ve been added. Especially if the intruders are baked in. It’s a done deal, leaving me with no other choice but to send the raisin-clad dish back… though it pains me to do so.
If only the menu had included raisins alongside ALL of the other ingredients in the dish, I could’ve simply chosen something raisin-free. Crisis averted. A solution so simple that it makes the situation all the more frustrating. Thanks for letting me vent, I feel much better.
Bangarang,
Rufio
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Cheer Fear Volume 2: The Resolution
First of all, doesn't that sound like the title to an amazing movie based on murderous, possibly zombie cheerleaders -- kind of like R.L. Stine's seminal classic saga "Fear Street Cheerleaders?" It does. Also, I would totally see that saga -- Ari Golds of the world, get on it!
Anyway, as you guys know, this weekend I went to a cheerleading competition in order to face one of my fears. Let me just tell you, this competition was AMAZING. These girls were young, bouncy, shiny, sparkly, and athletic. I have never felt so old - well, except for that one time my law school roommates and I called the cops on our neighbors for having a party...on a Friday night...in the summer (yes, we are AWESOME and ADULT, I know, thanks).
So I got to the competition and battled my way through throngs of tiny cheerleaders in oversized bows and GAGA makeup. And I proceeded to watch about 30 minutes of the competition before I even attempted to call my coach. Seriously, I was so nerdy. I was legit nervous to call him - as if he were a guy I was asking out on a date. SO LAME.
After hemming and hawing for a while, the cheer gods helped me out and I spotted Ernie in the crowd - and then awkwardly did NOT go up and say Hi. Yep, I continued to stand alone. LAME.
Finally, though, I mustered up my courage and went to talk to him....and it was awesome. We talked all day. He asked about my life and what I'd been up to since leaving his charge at age 18, he wanted my advice on his plans for the future, he talked to my mom on the phone and he bragged to his new cheerleaders about my successes...it was like hanging out with a really good friend. And that night, when I left, he told me he was so happy to see me.
Needless to say, I pretty much floated out of that competition. It was SO, SO nice to have a day like that with someone that I pretty much revered throughout all of my teenage years.
This post seems pretty self-indulgent, so to make it fit the theme, here's my takeaway: it's fine to put some people on a pedestal, just make sure the pedestal's not too high, for if it's so high that they become unreachable you can't have a relationship with them....and isn't that the point?
Anyway, as you guys know, this weekend I went to a cheerleading competition in order to face one of my fears. Let me just tell you, this competition was AMAZING. These girls were young, bouncy, shiny, sparkly, and athletic. I have never felt so old - well, except for that one time my law school roommates and I called the cops on our neighbors for having a party...on a Friday night...in the summer (yes, we are AWESOME and ADULT, I know, thanks).
So I got to the competition and battled my way through throngs of tiny cheerleaders in oversized bows and GAGA makeup. And I proceeded to watch about 30 minutes of the competition before I even attempted to call my coach. Seriously, I was so nerdy. I was legit nervous to call him - as if he were a guy I was asking out on a date. SO LAME.
After hemming and hawing for a while, the cheer gods helped me out and I spotted Ernie in the crowd - and then awkwardly did NOT go up and say Hi. Yep, I continued to stand alone. LAME.
Finally, though, I mustered up my courage and went to talk to him....and it was awesome. We talked all day. He asked about my life and what I'd been up to since leaving his charge at age 18, he wanted my advice on his plans for the future, he talked to my mom on the phone and he bragged to his new cheerleaders about my successes...it was like hanging out with a really good friend. And that night, when I left, he told me he was so happy to see me.
Needless to say, I pretty much floated out of that competition. It was SO, SO nice to have a day like that with someone that I pretty much revered throughout all of my teenage years.
This post seems pretty self-indulgent, so to make it fit the theme, here's my takeaway: it's fine to put some people on a pedestal, just make sure the pedestal's not too high, for if it's so high that they become unreachable you can't have a relationship with them....and isn't that the point?
Consider Me Peeved.
This week we are talking about Pet Peeves. Why? Because we said so. That's why. It's a fun semi-related paralell to the Who Am I, What Do I Stand For theme we have going on this month.
I was also planning to wait until I got home, but I am currently sitting in my office (Panera) and the moment struck. I simply couldn't resist. The man sitting across from me was a combination of my pet peeves IN THE FLESH. The true embodiment of all that is nails on a chalkboard to me, was literally within 5 feet of my being. Little did he know, I was not trying to receive better cell phone service, but instead stealthily trying to snap his photo and thus immortalize this jerk-off forevemore.
I choked, thought he knew what I was up to, and got blur. Sorry for the major anti-climax. But just to give you a visual: Take Ray Romano's brother in Everyone Loves Raymond, shrink him to a normal human height, add a mustard sport coat, a Brooklyn Accent, and a smoker's rasp. Are you in love yet?
The reason he inspired the pet peeve post was his above-normal public space cell phone volume. He came here, I suppose, to take advantage of the free Wi-Fi, and break the concentration of every semi-employed dilligent individual trying to concentrate in a 4 mile radius. Same reason I come here.
He was talking on his cell phone about what I can only assume was people that had defaulted on their mortgages, that he had sold them. Which highlights pet peeve numero dos, pushy sales people. I've been in sales, I get it, and therefore reserve the right to never put up with their wierd, manipulative, guilt-inducing tirades EVER. Not with car salesmen, advertising salesmen OR women, product peddlers, or those freaks at the mall that want to polish my fingernails or clip in a fake ponytail. I fell for that once and it won't happen again. (And yes, I bought $125 worth of synthetic hair, but that was back when I was bartending, and I actually made a decent living.)
Which brings me to Peeve Number 3: Entitlement. Just get over yourself. You're a nobody like the rest of us until you prove otherwise. So much ego stroking these days, let's just cut to the chase. Work harder, earn respect, don't just expect things to fall into your lap. Accrue karma, do for others, don't just sit by the phone and expect a call from Diane Sawyer to request an interview, tell you what a great job you are doing, and how amazing you are.
Still on the entitlement front, just switching gears: Large people in small clothes. Who are you to be wearing that? For the love of god, no one wants to see your fat ass packed into tight pants (and leggings...just avoid all together) or your naval-indent through your tiny Polo. I can hear it now: "Sure that's easy for you to say, you skinny bitch." And for the record, I am average weight, and I have a plethora of sexy plus-size friends that know how to dress in clothes that accentuate their body type, rather than make a mockery of it.
Moving on. This is almost too much fun, and I fear that I could write forever.
Repeating Noises. Anyone who knows me well enough, especially my loverboy, will tell you this. Anything that repeats for more than let's say 10 seconds, I have to make it stop. Blinker noises in your car. The sound a forklift in Home Depot makes when it is reversing. Alarm clocks from the upstairs apartment. A leaky faucet. I don't consider myself an anal person, but repeating noises are the mental equivalent of Chinese Water Torture for me. I can't.
I'm trying to wrap this up, so I'll just give you a quick listing of the rest, minus the witty banter. Belts in belt loops on girls. People that make plans and cancel at the last minute. When people meet you time and time again and don't remember your name (THIS IS HUGE). People that constantly have a new scheme. When people ask a question, then don't listen to the answer. When normal words are misspelled for no reason (Kwik instead of Quick)(Kash instead of Cash), the way Jerry Seinfeld looks like he is always laughing at his own jokes, and last but not least people that wear enough perfume to kill a horse. Because...wait for it, two of them just sat down next to me. You smell like a baby prostitute...and what is that beeping???
I was also planning to wait until I got home, but I am currently sitting in my office (Panera) and the moment struck. I simply couldn't resist. The man sitting across from me was a combination of my pet peeves IN THE FLESH. The true embodiment of all that is nails on a chalkboard to me, was literally within 5 feet of my being. Little did he know, I was not trying to receive better cell phone service, but instead stealthily trying to snap his photo and thus immortalize this jerk-off forevemore.
I choked, thought he knew what I was up to, and got blur. Sorry for the major anti-climax. But just to give you a visual: Take Ray Romano's brother in Everyone Loves Raymond, shrink him to a normal human height, add a mustard sport coat, a Brooklyn Accent, and a smoker's rasp. Are you in love yet?
The reason he inspired the pet peeve post was his above-normal public space cell phone volume. He came here, I suppose, to take advantage of the free Wi-Fi, and break the concentration of every semi-employed dilligent individual trying to concentrate in a 4 mile radius. Same reason I come here.
He was talking on his cell phone about what I can only assume was people that had defaulted on their mortgages, that he had sold them. Which highlights pet peeve numero dos, pushy sales people. I've been in sales, I get it, and therefore reserve the right to never put up with their wierd, manipulative, guilt-inducing tirades EVER. Not with car salesmen, advertising salesmen OR women, product peddlers, or those freaks at the mall that want to polish my fingernails or clip in a fake ponytail. I fell for that once and it won't happen again. (And yes, I bought $125 worth of synthetic hair, but that was back when I was bartending, and I actually made a decent living.)
Which brings me to Peeve Number 3: Entitlement. Just get over yourself. You're a nobody like the rest of us until you prove otherwise. So much ego stroking these days, let's just cut to the chase. Work harder, earn respect, don't just expect things to fall into your lap. Accrue karma, do for others, don't just sit by the phone and expect a call from Diane Sawyer to request an interview, tell you what a great job you are doing, and how amazing you are.
Still on the entitlement front, just switching gears: Large people in small clothes. Who are you to be wearing that? For the love of god, no one wants to see your fat ass packed into tight pants (and leggings...just avoid all together) or your naval-indent through your tiny Polo. I can hear it now: "Sure that's easy for you to say, you skinny bitch." And for the record, I am average weight, and I have a plethora of sexy plus-size friends that know how to dress in clothes that accentuate their body type, rather than make a mockery of it.
Moving on. This is almost too much fun, and I fear that I could write forever.
Repeating Noises. Anyone who knows me well enough, especially my loverboy, will tell you this. Anything that repeats for more than let's say 10 seconds, I have to make it stop. Blinker noises in your car. The sound a forklift in Home Depot makes when it is reversing. Alarm clocks from the upstairs apartment. A leaky faucet. I don't consider myself an anal person, but repeating noises are the mental equivalent of Chinese Water Torture for me. I can't.
I'm trying to wrap this up, so I'll just give you a quick listing of the rest, minus the witty banter. Belts in belt loops on girls. People that make plans and cancel at the last minute. When people meet you time and time again and don't remember your name (THIS IS HUGE). People that constantly have a new scheme. When people ask a question, then don't listen to the answer. When normal words are misspelled for no reason (Kwik instead of Quick)(Kash instead of Cash), the way Jerry Seinfeld looks like he is always laughing at his own jokes, and last but not least people that wear enough perfume to kill a horse. Because...wait for it, two of them just sat down next to me. You smell like a baby prostitute...and what is that beeping???
Monday, February 8, 2010
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...
...And I? I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
I haven't posted in a few days, and the guilt finally got to me. I registered my first LLC last Wednesday, and the reality that I am a new business owner has started to set in. And by reality, I of course, mean panic. It's hard to describe the freedom that comes along with starting your own company. On one hand, you feel at liberty to make your own hours, use whatever tone you'd like in an email, and ultimately do whatever you want. But on the other hand, you're also a prisoner to it. I had guests in town this weekend, and the anxiety that set in over the fact that my BlackBerry died during a 4 hour beach excursion really took the fun out of things. And I got a sunburn.
I guess this is one of those "rise to the challenge" moments in life that you hear so much about, and to borrow a phrase of Wendy's, I'm standing at the gates. The fun part is, that I never really thought this would happen this year, while we were simultanesouly embarking on Project Peter Pan, so it actually is pretty serendipitous. I love that word.
To keep you abreast of what's happening with the new company (which by the way does PR and Events): We signed our first client last Friday. I have three meetings today, and will hopefully have 3 new clients by the end of the day. If I sign two clients this week, I will be making more money than I did at my prevoius job per month. I just wanted to lay a little groundwork so you can follow the progress (or failure) as we go. It should be very exciting for everyone, provided I don't crash and burn and have to move back in with my mom and her two chihuahuas.
I realize this post was more expository than reflective, but alas...there is a point. This road to adulthood, no matter how much we plan for it, is sure to surprise you at points. And when those curve balls come, its not about throwing your hands up in defeat, but instead sacking up and making lemons into some tasty beverage. (Wow, it's a cliche landslide!) So as I duck, dodge, dip, and dodge (Dodgeball fans?) around these obstacles in adulthood, there are also a few random things I would like to accomplish and/or I think would qualify me as an adult. I've taken the liberty of compiling a list...
1. Make a good decision.
2. Start something, then finish it.
3. Think before you speak.
4. Prioritize your life.
5. Become independent...financially or otherwise.
6. Forgive someone.
7. Go to your friend’s wedding and behave like a human being.
8. Get Botox.
9. Buy a house. (Or just first, last, and security on a rental on your own)
10. Exceed expectations at work.
11. Tell your parents you love them.
12. Plan/attend a funeral.
13. Follow a dream.
14. Do something you’re afraid of. (For me that would be giving blood)
15. Get an HIV test.
16. Take time for yourself.
17. Care for someone.
18. Choose a cause to support.
19. Choose an (educated) stance on religion.
20. Start saving for retirement, know the difference between a traditional IRA and Roth IRA.
21. Do something to make the world a better place.
22. Maintain a monogamous relationship.
23. Invest in youth preserving products.
24. Dump one of your friends.
25. Abandon reckless behavior.
26. Obey the speed limit.
27. Win an argument rationally.
28. Recycle.
29. Pick out baby names.
30. Say you’re sorry, even when you know you’re right.
31. Have patience.
32. Comparison shop.
33. Stay in on a Saturday night.
34. Learn something about your ancestors.
35. Take in a stray (animal or friend).
36. Tell the truth when a white lie would be so much easier.
37. Teach an old dog a new trick.
38. Pray
39. Love someone more than you love yourself.
40. Sing in the rain.
41. Wear sunscreen.
42. Play BINGO.
43. Be alone and be OK with it.
44. Organize your sock drawer.
45. Have a yard sale and/or donate to GoodWill.
46. Have a huge fight with a sibling, and find a resolution.
47. Be a shoulder to cry on.
47 is kind of an odd number, I guess I could've gone the distance and went for 50. So as we go, these are the things that I am going to try to incorporate into my journey. We encourage you to make a list of your own, and if you don't feel too violated, post it as a comment.
Also, our next topic is Pet Peeves, which I am so excited to write about. If anyone wants to chime in on this topic, please let Wendy or I know, we would love to introduce some guest bloggers, and or recurring characters to the project. (I mean there are plenty of Pan aliases left...)
Lots of love, and thanks to our 9 followers. I feel like a rockstar. Granted more like the Mamas and the Papas reunion tour type of rockstar, but nevertheless a rockstar.
I haven't posted in a few days, and the guilt finally got to me. I registered my first LLC last Wednesday, and the reality that I am a new business owner has started to set in. And by reality, I of course, mean panic. It's hard to describe the freedom that comes along with starting your own company. On one hand, you feel at liberty to make your own hours, use whatever tone you'd like in an email, and ultimately do whatever you want. But on the other hand, you're also a prisoner to it. I had guests in town this weekend, and the anxiety that set in over the fact that my BlackBerry died during a 4 hour beach excursion really took the fun out of things. And I got a sunburn.
I guess this is one of those "rise to the challenge" moments in life that you hear so much about, and to borrow a phrase of Wendy's, I'm standing at the gates. The fun part is, that I never really thought this would happen this year, while we were simultanesouly embarking on Project Peter Pan, so it actually is pretty serendipitous. I love that word.
To keep you abreast of what's happening with the new company (which by the way does PR and Events): We signed our first client last Friday. I have three meetings today, and will hopefully have 3 new clients by the end of the day. If I sign two clients this week, I will be making more money than I did at my prevoius job per month. I just wanted to lay a little groundwork so you can follow the progress (or failure) as we go. It should be very exciting for everyone, provided I don't crash and burn and have to move back in with my mom and her two chihuahuas.
I realize this post was more expository than reflective, but alas...there is a point. This road to adulthood, no matter how much we plan for it, is sure to surprise you at points. And when those curve balls come, its not about throwing your hands up in defeat, but instead sacking up and making lemons into some tasty beverage. (Wow, it's a cliche landslide!) So as I duck, dodge, dip, and dodge (Dodgeball fans?) around these obstacles in adulthood, there are also a few random things I would like to accomplish and/or I think would qualify me as an adult. I've taken the liberty of compiling a list...
1. Make a good decision.
2. Start something, then finish it.
3. Think before you speak.
4. Prioritize your life.
5. Become independent...financially or otherwise.
6. Forgive someone.
7. Go to your friend’s wedding and behave like a human being.
8. Get Botox.
9. Buy a house. (Or just first, last, and security on a rental on your own)
10. Exceed expectations at work.
11. Tell your parents you love them.
12. Plan/attend a funeral.
13. Follow a dream.
14. Do something you’re afraid of. (For me that would be giving blood)
15. Get an HIV test.
16. Take time for yourself.
17. Care for someone.
18. Choose a cause to support.
19. Choose an (educated) stance on religion.
20. Start saving for retirement, know the difference between a traditional IRA and Roth IRA.
21. Do something to make the world a better place.
22. Maintain a monogamous relationship.
23. Invest in youth preserving products.
24. Dump one of your friends.
25. Abandon reckless behavior.
26. Obey the speed limit.
27. Win an argument rationally.
28. Recycle.
29. Pick out baby names.
30. Say you’re sorry, even when you know you’re right.
31. Have patience.
32. Comparison shop.
33. Stay in on a Saturday night.
34. Learn something about your ancestors.
35. Take in a stray (animal or friend).
36. Tell the truth when a white lie would be so much easier.
37. Teach an old dog a new trick.
38. Pray
39. Love someone more than you love yourself.
40. Sing in the rain.
41. Wear sunscreen.
42. Play BINGO.
43. Be alone and be OK with it.
44. Organize your sock drawer.
45. Have a yard sale and/or donate to GoodWill.
46. Have a huge fight with a sibling, and find a resolution.
47. Be a shoulder to cry on.
47 is kind of an odd number, I guess I could've gone the distance and went for 50. So as we go, these are the things that I am going to try to incorporate into my journey. We encourage you to make a list of your own, and if you don't feel too violated, post it as a comment.
Also, our next topic is Pet Peeves, which I am so excited to write about. If anyone wants to chime in on this topic, please let Wendy or I know, we would love to introduce some guest bloggers, and or recurring characters to the project. (I mean there are plenty of Pan aliases left...)
Lots of love, and thanks to our 9 followers. I feel like a rockstar. Granted more like the Mamas and the Papas reunion tour type of rockstar, but nevertheless a rockstar.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Cheer Fear
Guess what peeps? I'm facing one of my fears! In the process, I will also try to overcome one of those pesky weaknesses I mentioned the other day. How, you ask? By going to a cheerleading competition of course.
Some background: I am a cheerleader. Well, technically I'm not a cheerleader right now, at this moment (unfortunately my law firm is lame and does not have a cheerleading team). But I used to be. I of course cheered for my middle school, high school, and college sports teams: Go Cougars, Raiders, and HOYAS! But my biggest love, by far, was cheering with my all-star team. All-star teams are those teams you see occasionally on ESPN: they're made up of girls wearing uniforms no bigger than a bathing suit, copious amounts of glitter, and bows bigger than their heads. These girls, ridiculous as they may look, are some of the best athletes around.
My all-star team was, in a word, BADASS. In one year we won five national championships and two state titles. When we walked into the competition arena, people stared. Being on that team was like being famous. But that fame only came because of our hardwork. We practiced Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:30- 11:30 at night and Sundays from 12:00 - 8:00. In a rundown gym in Miami. WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING. These practices were beasts of a workout: tumbling on concrete, stunting until our hands bled, running laps forEVER…it was rough. And it was all lorded over by Ernie - our coach and sometimes tormentor.
Although Ernie was tough on us (REALLY tough sometimes), all of us loved him. I'm pretty sure most of us would've walked through fire for him. A lot of the girls were really close with Ernie - after all he was only about 25 or so, it wasn't like he was so adult. But even though I loved him, I was never too close with him. Why? Well, because of that dastardly fear of authority. I was never able to talk to him, even though I probably spent more time with him than I did with my own father.
All of that changes this weekend. See, Ernie is bringing his new all-star team to a competition in ATL this weekend and I've already contacted him to let him know that I'm here and want to see him. Gotta admit I'm kinda nervous…. But I'm totally gonna call him and meet up at the competition. C'mon fear of authority…BRING IT ON.*
*Sorry, I had to. You don't get a say, this is not a democracy, IT’S A CHEEROCRACY.
Some background: I am a cheerleader. Well, technically I'm not a cheerleader right now, at this moment (unfortunately my law firm is lame and does not have a cheerleading team). But I used to be. I of course cheered for my middle school, high school, and college sports teams: Go Cougars, Raiders, and HOYAS! But my biggest love, by far, was cheering with my all-star team. All-star teams are those teams you see occasionally on ESPN: they're made up of girls wearing uniforms no bigger than a bathing suit, copious amounts of glitter, and bows bigger than their heads. These girls, ridiculous as they may look, are some of the best athletes around.
My all-star team was, in a word, BADASS. In one year we won five national championships and two state titles. When we walked into the competition arena, people stared. Being on that team was like being famous. But that fame only came because of our hardwork. We practiced Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:30- 11:30 at night and Sundays from 12:00 - 8:00. In a rundown gym in Miami. WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING. These practices were beasts of a workout: tumbling on concrete, stunting until our hands bled, running laps forEVER…it was rough. And it was all lorded over by Ernie - our coach and sometimes tormentor.
Although Ernie was tough on us (REALLY tough sometimes), all of us loved him. I'm pretty sure most of us would've walked through fire for him. A lot of the girls were really close with Ernie - after all he was only about 25 or so, it wasn't like he was so adult. But even though I loved him, I was never too close with him. Why? Well, because of that dastardly fear of authority. I was never able to talk to him, even though I probably spent more time with him than I did with my own father.
All of that changes this weekend. See, Ernie is bringing his new all-star team to a competition in ATL this weekend and I've already contacted him to let him know that I'm here and want to see him. Gotta admit I'm kinda nervous…. But I'm totally gonna call him and meet up at the competition. C'mon fear of authority…BRING IT ON.*
*Sorry, I had to. You don't get a say, this is not a democracy, IT’S A CHEEROCRACY.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Wah Wah Weaknesses
So is it obvious yet that one of my weaknesses is procrastinating? I'm sure it is, since in my strengths post last week I signed off by saying that I'd post about my weaknesses TOMORROW. Eek. Boo to me for making you guys wait.
Yes, it's true, procrastinating is certainly up there on my list of weaknesses. I've been known to put off 10-page term papers until 8pm the night before they're due (or later if SoapNet is playing one of those sure-to-suck-you-in America's Next Top Model marathons). But usually these papers turn out great, allowing me to use the procastinator's most favoritest motto ever aka "I work better under pressure."
So, aside from being solidly docked at procrastination station, what other weaknesses do I have? Well, unlike Tink, I'm not an asshole. I am, however, a brat. A big one. I like to get my way, I HATE when people change plans on me (even if they have a good reason), and I don't like sharing - of clothes, friends, blankets, the remote, or attention. I definitely need to reign this in, because at this point in my career, I'm a cog...and people don't appreciate bratty cogs. Also, the boy toy hates it when I go ballistic over moving our dinner plans back an hour.
What else? Well, like Tink I also have a problem with authority. However, my problem is that I'm TERRIFIED of authority figures. This served me relatively well as a kid: I never got in trouble at school and my parents thought I was perfect so they never suspected I was sneaking out with handles of vodka to get drunk with Tink. However, as I've gotten older I've realized that this super odd fear of authority figures is holding me back: I was never close with my professors (making it hard for me to get recommendations even though I did well in school) and I currently have no mentors in my profession.
Another weakness I have is that I'm super sensitive. Seriously, my feelings get hurt so easily, its ridiculous. Along the same lines, I'm terrible at accepting criticism and get super defensive when people try to tell me I did something wrong...sometimes I even cry about it. TERRIBLE!
Also, I hate when people get mad at me and am willing to do pretty much anything to make sure they don't. I used to be much worse about this - at one point in college my ex-boyfriend tried to get me to go an entire night without apologizing. I lasted like 30 seconds...and then I apologized for apologizing! As you can probably imagine this weakness served to make me very easy to manipulate - most of the friends I had in high school pretty much walked all over me. I don't blame them though, I was kind of a doormat. While I've certainly gotten better at this, I still do a lot of things just to please other people and I don't stick up for myself nearly enough.
Finally, and this one is pretty much something only the girls will get, but whatever, I am way too harsh on my body. Like most girls I know, I hate my body (or parts of it)...and objectively, my body's pretty damn great. I know that it is, and yet I still can't help myself from bitching about it alot and letting the fact that I "feel fat" ruin a perfectly good day at the beach or the mall. BOO.
Well, there you have it. This was super cathartic.
Yes, it's true, procrastinating is certainly up there on my list of weaknesses. I've been known to put off 10-page term papers until 8pm the night before they're due (or later if SoapNet is playing one of those sure-to-suck-you-in America's Next Top Model marathons). But usually these papers turn out great, allowing me to use the procastinator's most favoritest motto ever aka "I work better under pressure."
So, aside from being solidly docked at procrastination station, what other weaknesses do I have? Well, unlike Tink, I'm not an asshole. I am, however, a brat. A big one. I like to get my way, I HATE when people change plans on me (even if they have a good reason), and I don't like sharing - of clothes, friends, blankets, the remote, or attention. I definitely need to reign this in, because at this point in my career, I'm a cog...and people don't appreciate bratty cogs. Also, the boy toy hates it when I go ballistic over moving our dinner plans back an hour.
What else? Well, like Tink I also have a problem with authority. However, my problem is that I'm TERRIFIED of authority figures. This served me relatively well as a kid: I never got in trouble at school and my parents thought I was perfect so they never suspected I was sneaking out with handles of vodka to get drunk with Tink. However, as I've gotten older I've realized that this super odd fear of authority figures is holding me back: I was never close with my professors (making it hard for me to get recommendations even though I did well in school) and I currently have no mentors in my profession.
Another weakness I have is that I'm super sensitive. Seriously, my feelings get hurt so easily, its ridiculous. Along the same lines, I'm terrible at accepting criticism and get super defensive when people try to tell me I did something wrong...sometimes I even cry about it. TERRIBLE!
Also, I hate when people get mad at me and am willing to do pretty much anything to make sure they don't. I used to be much worse about this - at one point in college my ex-boyfriend tried to get me to go an entire night without apologizing. I lasted like 30 seconds...and then I apologized for apologizing! As you can probably imagine this weakness served to make me very easy to manipulate - most of the friends I had in high school pretty much walked all over me. I don't blame them though, I was kind of a doormat. While I've certainly gotten better at this, I still do a lot of things just to please other people and I don't stick up for myself nearly enough.
Finally, and this one is pretty much something only the girls will get, but whatever, I am way too harsh on my body. Like most girls I know, I hate my body (or parts of it)...and objectively, my body's pretty damn great. I know that it is, and yet I still can't help myself from bitching about it alot and letting the fact that I "feel fat" ruin a perfectly good day at the beach or the mall. BOO.
Well, there you have it. This was super cathartic.
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