They (don't) know too much.

I'm talking about old friends, and when it's time to call it quits. For some close to me, they know that a few years ago, I embarked on writing a book all about this subject. It's a fact, I am a big fan of breaking up with friends that suck.

I had a brief reminder of the characters in this book a few days ago when I learned that a few of my old college compadres and I would be frequenting the same Independence Day destination. Initially, I thought this will be great time to show them how great I'm doing in life and how sexy my boyfriend is. Until I remembered that we had an extremely anticlimactic falling out, followed by an even less remarkable (if possible) attempt at reconciliation. The whole thing was just lame. Not dramatic enough to be exciting, but just annoying enough to be...annoying.

This got me thinking about the initial encounter we might have given the (very high) chance that we bump into each other outside Fat Tuesdays. Do we hug? Pretend that we don't secretly wish each other gets fat? I'm not sure if it's become so apparent just yet, but "fake" isn't a good color on me. I actually wasted an inordinate amount time thinking about this run-in, and if it would come to fruition before realizing...wait a second...do I really care?

I've devised a very simple test as to whether or not you should continue a friendship with someone based on this simple equation. If he/she has missed 3 or more significant milestones in your life, or on the converse, you've missed more than 3 in his/hers...let's just face it...you're not friends.

After a quick count (how hard is it to count to 3?) I realized that there have been 5 major milestones since 2008 in my life.

1. Dad passed away.
2. Move to New York City
3. Move back to Florida
4. Move in with boyfriend (uh..yeah...that is a big deal)
5. Start a business

At that point, there is just too much you don't know about me to be my friend. Now of course, this doesn't apply to strangers or as the more optimistic refer to them "friends that we haven't met yet." They get a fresh slate. But people that call themselves "friends" well that term comes with a certain level of responsibility, pal. And vice versa, if you got married, and I've never met the guy, or know his name...yeah we're not friends.

I read a quote from the Tipping Point today and it said that the maximum number of people that we are physically capable of having a genuine relationship with is 150. I have 831 Facebook friends. Something is wrong with this picture.

So part of my growing up experience this year is to realize who my real friends are, and start putting more energy into those relationships...all the while balancing a career that encourages me to schmooze and blow smoke up people's ass on the regular. Awesome.