Tangent, version 2.0 (now with more vomit)

As the title suggests, this post, like Tink's, is a tangent. It's not related to taking stock in the slightest bit. It's also not really related to being an adult, except that it involves work...and terribleness.

So, as I think I mentioned in a recent post, I started work about 3 weeks ago. I don't think I ever told you guys what I do, so here it is: I'm an attorney at a pretty big law firm. Commence "attorneys are the worst, blah blah blah, money-grubbing, yadda yadda" talk.*

Done now? Okay. Well, to sum up what it's like: a lot of hours, a lot of pressure, a lot of suits, very little guidance, very little time for sleep/tv/life. The first year at a law firm is notoriously stressful and work-filled. All nighters are the norm, coffee is your only form of nutrition, and you generally know nothing about anything that you are doing, but are expected to be an expert on everything.

So, one Thursday about a week and a half ago I was working on a whole lot of nothing. Serious staring off into space action. Then, miracle of miracles, I got an assignment! JOY. So I start working on this assignment and about 2 hours in, my stomach starts to hurt a lot. I don't really think too much of it, because I have a really weak stomach in general (seriously, the list of places I can't eat because I'll get sick is really, really long. IHOP is enemy #1, just so you know). I keep working. About 2.5 hours in though, I start to feel super nauseous. I lay my head down on my desk and close my eyes, but it only gets worse. I cannot believe this is happening, but I'm going to throw up. No doubt about it. So, I get up and try to run-walk to the bathroom (discreetly of course, so people won't stare like I'm a crazy person running around work). I get to the elevator lobby that separates one side of the floor from the other and....THROW UP ALL OVER THE FLOOR.



Yes, you read that correctly -I failed to make it to the bathroom. The last time this happened to me I was six and I threw up all over the car after visiting the Ben & Jerry's Factory in Vermont. That was bad...this was TERRIBLE. I had vomit on my suit, I was crying, and I WAS AT WORK!!! I seriously thought about just leaving the vomit and not telling anyone, because I honestly did not know what to do. But, I'm an adult, not an 18-year-old at prom. So, I sucked it up, cleaned off my suit, called Facilities to come clean up the floor, and kept working....for 6 more hours.

I threw up five more times that day, but each of those times I made it to the bathroom. Only one of those times was another person in the bathroom. Unfortunately taht other person was a partner. So now she thinks I'm either bulimic, pregnant, or drunk at work. I'm not sure which one is the worst.

So there it is. My work makes me vomit. Beat that folks.

* Since apparently everyone under the age of 35 is either a lawyer, in law school, or studying for the LSAT most of you probably won't make fun of lawyers. Good job ABA, keep accrediting law schools and flooding the market. UGH (sorry for this tangent from the tangent).